Sleep

is good, and I want a lot more of it.

I would also love a day or two when I'm not putting over 50 miles on my car. Please Lord let the husband's car repairs be finished soon!

Today, unless the weather turns nasty sooner than anticipated, I'm driving four teenagers 60 miles to the zoo for younger daughter's birthday. Then I drive them home, and do a 20+ mile round trip to get them dinner. At least the sleepover is at my parents' home. My father was trying to convince my mother yesterday that she had to hide all the liquour. My daughter just shook her head, since she and one of the other girls will take small sips occasionally and the other kids can't stand the stuff. As my mother says, they're not exactly party animals. Their idea of a wild night is pizza and videos.

But at least I can sleep in tomorrow, and then my husband and I are going to have a slightly belated anniversary dinner out. 22 years, and we haven't tried to kill each other once. We haven't considered divorce even once. Is it a perfect fairy tale marriage? No, but then I don't think those exist. It's a good one, and I'm glad for it.

And we're getting there....

Also known as 4 down, 1 to go.  I just took the last Finance exam, and feel pretty good about it. I only needed a 78 to get an A in the overall course. There were 20 questions and there was only 1 that I totally guessed on, and two or three that I wasn't completely comfortable with.  So, fingers crossing and all that.

We made it to New Jersey yesterday afternoon, later than I'd planned, but not too bad, and that was in spite of the best laid plans of New Jersey signage.  Their road signs and what the GPS thinks things are called don't seem to match in the Piscataway area.  However, having to pull over when it looked like we'd screwed up for a third time was actuallly a Good Thing, as just as I pulled over to the break down lane a large piece of scrap metal went careening through were the car would have been, and while I think we would have survived it, I don't think the driver's side of my car would have. So there was that.

And then the hotel turned out to be at the beginning of a major remodel, and lots of stuff had issues. But being polite but a little loud and very unhappy got many things fixed. The staff are great, but it seems that upper-upper management isn't giving them much to work with.  So I'd probably avoid the Hotel Suomerset Bridgewater until later in 2016 after they've sorted it out and reopened as a Crown Plaza.

My daughter got her makeup and costume on and I got her dropped off and checked in to the Steampunk World's Fair, and went back to the hotel, (which was when I was polite upset and got a new room), moved some of our stuff, and then went and had a half price G&T.  I felt much, much better after that.  I picked the kid up around 10 after the dinner with the band and heard all about her photo with them, and her selfies with them, and meeting all sorts of people she knows from the tumblr group.

Today I got her dropped off fairly early for the meet-and-greet, and she wasn't planning on coming back before the concert is over, which will be around midnight.  So I'm going to head down shortly, as soon as it hits 5, for another G&T and some dinner.

And then it's going over the last three chapters of QuickBooks, so I can (hopefully) take the test in the morning while kid's over at the fair, and then we'll head home sometime late afternoon/early evening. Even if I don't get the test done until Monday (it closes Monday at 23:59), after that it's all over for the summer.

School, that is. My school. I still have to work with younger child on her math, and get the house and stuff ready for surgery on the 4th. I want to not have to worry if I do wake up in an immobilizer, and then if it goes as planned, everything will be fine too.

Question for the masses...

For all three (if that many) of my readers:  do teens and young adults get into 'cutting' on their own, or is it because they have it drilled into them that this is a sign of mental issues and that they shouldn't do it?

Not that it's an issue at the moment, thank god.  Younger daughter was in full meltdown mode last night; whether it's a cause or a symptom of the two weeks of nearly constant migraine, I don't know.  She was on my bed, crying hysterically, and snapping a rubber band on her wrist.  I asked if it hurt and she said it didn't really.  So I asked if it made her feel better, and her answer to that was "not really", and then she added, as matter-of-factly as one can when one is on a crying jag, "It's better than cutting, isn't it?"  Given that I had just voiced that exact same thought in the exact same words to myself less only a few seconds before brought me up a little short.

I'm sure that teenagers have had angst and other emotional issues for years, being human beings and all.  But when I was growing up and felt much the way she does right now, I would never have thought of doing something to physically hurt myself, but was that because I hadn't heard about it?

She already has an appointment with her psych tomorrow about the meds, which obviously need some adjusting, and I'm going to see about making an appointment with her talk therapist as soon as I finish writing this.  Child has a group session this evening but she doesn't want to go because the regular therapist is away this week and she doesn't like the replacement group leader.  On the other hand she was telling me that her only friends are from group, none from school (which isn't quite true), so maybe this morning she'll have changed her mind and decided to go so she can see them.

Probably just as well I'm unemployed at the moment.  Who ever suggested that moms should stay home when the kids are little and go back after they're in elementary school because they don't need us as much either didn't have children, or had incredibly, abnormally mature, well-adjusted ones.  Pretty much everyone I know agrees with me that as they hit high school, at least if they are girls, they need mom more, not less, than they did when they were in grade school.

Adventures with the schools

Today is going to involve going into our Central Office to see about getting them to pay for elder child's neuropsychological testing, as well as getting them to test younger child for dyslexia.

I should point out that they are in 11th and 9th grades respectively.

The psychiatrist is still pissed that it's taken this long for the schools to do anything for elder child.  All we can think is that up until know she hasn't needed to study to do well on tests and she hasn't been disruptive.  I returned some books to her last school today, and told them that she had just been diagnosed as being Asperger's, and was told that it was quite obvious to them from the beginning of the year, but that they aren't allowed to say anything.  I understand the reasons behind the laws about this, but at the same time, if someone, anyone, had said something to us years ago (and I've had her Sunday School teacher from 12 years ago tell me that there were signs then!) we would have known to keep an eye out for issues.  I suppose if the school balks at the costs, I can point out that if they had done what they were supposed to do years ago, the accommodations probably would have cost them far more over the years.

And that gets us to our school budget...  They have been requesting 0% increases for the last three years, and this year are asking for a 1.4% increase, or a little over $1M.  But they've been able to pay two superintendent salaries as well as legal fees with no problems for the last year.  We also have an IB program in the high school which is seriously underutilized, and is costing us about $40K a year per student.  For the $400K a year we are spending we could send 20 kids to school full scholarship up to UConn, and probably twice that to the local community college.  I would argue that the town would get far more bang for it's buck if we did that than the IB program.

So when we get to voting on the school budget in a week or so during the annual RTM budget meeting, I know what I'll be recommending cutting....

School issues. One student down (maybe?) and one to go....

Elder Daughter started in her special program this week.  She goes into Central Office for two hours every day to work on a distance learning Biology class, which is also going to give her time to work on her two incompletes from the fall at her other school.

She does seem perkier, though how much of that is the new meds and how much is just having something to do outside the house on a regular basis I'm not sure.  I'm also not sure if I care much.

So on to dealing with Younger Daughter's issues.

It doesn't help that she's been genuinely sick most of the time since last November.  The school really doesn't want her in if she's running a fever or throwing up.  But she's lost over 50 days already, and we're only 3/4 of the way through the year.  So now she doesn't want to go to school at all since she's positive (probably correctly) that she'll have to repeat the year, so why bother?  Add in that all the classes "are boring except for math which is frustrating", and it's recipe for disaster.  She's also depressed.  I checked with her and found that she hasn't been in touch with any of her friends in over two weeks.  This is the girl who needed to have her cell pried from her hand and thank God I had the unlimited texting plan, or we'd be so past broke.  So I've made her an appointment with the therapist who is seeing her sister, but they don't have any new patient slots until May.  I've also got a call in to get her in to the psychiatrist, who may have openings sooner, and she'll  probably need to see them both anyway.

We're also going to see the regular doctor on Monday, because if we can get a piece of paper with even a tentative official diagnosis on it, the schools will have to do certain things and won't be able to do certain others.  And that may make my life easier, since I've already got them threatening me with the truancy officer.  I have an unfortunate suspicion that part of the problem is the family tendency to be way off to the far right of the IQ bell curve (Based on my GRE results, I could join the Triple Nine Society, and I'm probably average for my family) which makes a lot of stuff at normal grade level boring because it's too easy, and also by high school makes it much harder to make oneself spend time on things one has no interest in.

I need lots of money so I can find a good private or boarding school which works on interest and ability more than age/grade designations.

I guess I better go off and buy a few of those Powerball tickets for tonight.

Dealing with the schools

My eldest daughter is now officially Special Ed.

It's about time.  There have been signs for the last 10 years, but since she's bright enough to be able to learn without studying, and since she wasn't disruptive, no one really cared.  And since I was an odd duck through school, I didn't realize things were that bad until very recently.

It took getting her into a school program which put enough stress on her to bring it out, including the behavioural issues.  I'm happy that we found all this out before she hit college.  I'm not happy that the schools missed it all these years.

I've signed all the papers so the schools can do their psychological testing, and we're also going to try to get to the neuropsychologist that the psychiatrist recommends, but I need to see if our insurance will pay for it.  I've had other issues where insurance refused to pay because the school system was supposed to be doing it.

Having not gone to school for over two months, she's starting back on Tuesday in an alternative program, mostly computer but at a school facility with teachers present to help kids when they have questions or problems, and also to work to keep them on task.   Not totally surprisingly, she's not totally impressed, though she is happy to have a tentative diagnosis.

She's getting special ed since she meets four of the five criteria for an "Emotional Disorder" (you only need to meet one).  But the further testing is because the psychiatrist is considering Asperger's, which may have been exacerbated by several concussions over the years.

Joy.

Mind numbing idiocy/willful blindness

My sister who is a doctoral student at Cornell just posted this on her Facebook page:

I was happy to see Cornell students exercising their political voices today, and pleasantly surprised that the pro-Palestine/pro-peace rally dwarfed the Hillel sponsored pro-Israel rally across Ho Plaza. Also impressed to see one of my Coptic students front and center standing against the violence, contra his pro-Zionist family.

I'm wondering why she is surprised, pleasantly or otherwise, that the pro-palestinians would outnumber the pro-Israelis.  Likewise why my sister thinks that only the pro-Palestinian protesters are for peace.  Her area of study is middle-eastern archaeology, and she knows enough Jews that you would think she would know that there are far fewer Jews who would like to see a full-fledged conflict than there are Palestinians.

I'm actually going to be a good family member and NOT post any response, because it wouldn't do any good anyway.

It just boggles my mind that supposedly intelligent people refuse to see that the Palestinians, or at least their chosen leadership, are intent on destroying Israel and killing every Jew, no matter if it kills every Palestinian in the process.  How do these supposed "intellectuals" sleep at night?  How can they automatically demonize every Jew, even when they know Jews?  I don't demonize every Muslim, though I admit to believing that while there are some, indeed many, good people who are Muslims, they are good people in spite of, not because of, their religion.

Venting

OK, life sucks right now.  I don’t see Congress getting off its collective asses and fixing anything tax wise, because the Democrats won’t help working people unless they are allowed to “stick it to the man”, and Republicans want to see some actual spending cuts put in place other than gutting the military, one of the few Constitutionally mandated roles of the federal Government. 

So, we’re looking at another $250 or more in federal taxes a month starting January 1^st.  Instead of telling me it won’t happen, do something about it! Don’t tell me to not worry about it.  Don’t tell me anything which can be interpreted as “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it.”  I haven’t been down sitting at Congresscritters offices because *I* have a job I have to go to.  It’s a sucky job, with management who seem to only be interested in cutting costs, no matter what it does to staff morale.  Heck, they’ve rewritten my job description to require only a Bachelor’s degree.  Which isn’t a professional degree in my line of work, but I’m sure it comes cheaper.  And that’s all they care about. 

I’ve got crappy dumb terminals which I have to help people with and every time they cause issues making folks lose 30 minutes or more of work, I’m told that there isn’t a problem, it was fixed years ago.  Well, guess what?  It ain’t fixed now!  But replacing those three Citrix terminals with desktop computers is too expensive.  That those damn terminals have probably cost a few grand in staff time this year alone doesn’t matter, those costs can’t really be quantified, and the cost of the boxes can. 

They’ve dropped my health insurance plan, you know the one I’ve had for years that the president promised that if I liked it I could keep it?  Well, thanks to the Democrats and their PPACA, passed through probably illegal procedural moves and without any bipartisan support, that plan has gone away.  My options were paying more which I don’t have because of the other tax increases for a Cadillac plan which a) does more than we need because we have Tricare Standard too, and b) will be taxed at 40% starting, I believe, in 2014, or getting a High Deductible Health Insurance plan with an HAS, except that I can’t do that because of the Tricare.  So now we’re stuck with less money to pay for the expenses which Tricare doesn’t cover.  Thanks folks.

Our NEW car is 10 years old, our other “new” car is 17.  I’m dropping cable TV in a few weeks because we can’t afford that.  I don’t know how we’re going to be able to pay for my daughters’ music lessons next semester.  I guess they’ll both have to give up something they love.  I need to get them both new pairs of glasses.  That will eat up all our non-assigned reserves for a few weeks.  This year I have bought myself ONE new skirt, two or three new tops, and some cheap underthings.  My husband hasn’t bought anything other than work clothes this year.  I’ve gotten the girls some new school clothes, but they need new shoes, and I can’t do that and get them glasses too, not within a few weeks of each other.

But everyone assures me that now that Obama has been re-elected, even though the Senate and House are still held by different parties, and Harry Reid still refuses to even discuss a budget, the economy will improve, and gas prices will go down, though Obama assures us that they were so low in 2008 because the economy sucked even worse(?) .  Electric prices are going to go up, but that’s OK, because somehow making electricity and oil cost more will help the economy and our bosses are all going to give us raises or something? 

Tell me how it’s going to get better.  Give me specifics.  I don’t want any more damn unicorn farts and skittles.  I want numbers.  I want to know how repeating things that failed spectacularly during the last four years is suddenly going to do what you wish it to now.  I want proof.  I want to know that I’m not going to have to give up my TV, and my phone, and keep the lights off, and the heat at 60 all winter.  I want assurances that none of us are going to lose our jobs as our employers try to keep their lights on and their doors open.  I want assurances that when it all goes south, as it almost assuredly will, you won’t look stunned, and WILL be able to help me out.  Because it’s your fault.  You didn’t listen, you didn’t think, you voted based on feelings. 

I WILL be saying “told you so” but it will give me only a little bit of schadenfreude, because I’ll be hurting worse than you.

My wonderful family /sarc

Baby Sis: Oh my god. My feed is filled with angry political posts. Seriously people, STOP. Instead of looking forward 4 years, and trying to get your conservative or liberal parties in shape so you can "WIN" next time, how about worrying about NOW? As if WINNING has anything to do with running a country or helping people?? For the sake of whatever deity or philosophy you happen to hold true, could you all stop your posturing and posing and instead of assuming you're right and smarter than everyone around you, actually try to help the country and help the people in it now? 

Younger Sister *(YS): BabyS: Hunh, my feed is *mostly* full of calm, reasoned discussion - some of it disappointed one way or the other, but not angry (and yes I have friends in all sorts of parties, as well as none). Do you have a problem with your friend-mix?

ME: Hmm. YS, You blocked me for "offending" your friends simply because I disagreed with them. I never called them names, I never swore at people, I just used facts to explain my position. You on the other hand, called me "delusional" and "mentally unstable" for not agreeing with you politically, and attacked friends of mine personally on my wall. I'm glad your friends can be "calm" and "reasoned". But I've had way too many people including family call me names and tell me that if I disagree with them in any political area it's because I "hate brown people" or am stupid or evil. I hope this means that you've become less dogmatic and are willing to entertain the notion that those who disagree with you may have something of substance to contribute to the conversation. None of us is ever 100% right, in any sphere of life.

YS: I blocked you for making alarming and outrageous statements. You were claiming that it was better that a family member have died than that women be allowed to make their own healthcare decisions. I found that "beyond the pale". Wishing death on people is outside common decency, and should not be tolerated. And BTW. I only blocked you from certain parts of my list. You then chose to de-friend me entirely, without waiting to discuss it. There you go. You can disagree with me on tax policy, and you can disagree with me on social policy - but when you make statements that cause a reasonable person to question your sanity? Well, remember that I'm a reasonable person. And so are most of my acquaintance. You may not come to my wall, and say things that make nice people I know cry. Bad form, dear. I won't allow it.

ME: You did the same thing, and not only disagreed with people but you called them names. I never said you or your friends were delusion, or insane, or evil, or stupid. You did all of the above. And your blocking meant that I could read everything, where you told all your friends how evil and deluded I was, and I couldn't post anything anyplace.< It also seemed that disagreeing with you on tax policy meant that I was making statements leading "normal" people to question my sanity. The same with disagreeing with you on social policy. I should also add, that thanks to the PPACA, my employer is no longer offering the health insurance plan I've had for years. I can't afford the higher payments for the cadillac plan, especially since it will get a 40% tax in a few years, and the IRS says I can't get a high deductible plan, because I'm covered by my husband's Tricare. And I NEVER said it would have been better for someone to die rather than have a certain medical procedure. And I don't know anyone, including devout Catholics, who wouldn't agree with me on that. You are equating using the procedure for elective purposes with using it for life saving purposes, and that's flat out disingenous. Sandra Fluke claimed that her friend was denied contraception by Georgetown, when in actuality their policy covered birth control for medical reason, just as the Irish Government paid for me to be on the pill when it was prescribed to keep me from throwing up and passing out every month. And if you are going to claim that not paying for someone's birth control is "DENYING THEM MEDICAL CARE" I could claim that other people not paying my mortgage or rent is "denying" me shelter. And now, I'm dropping the subject.

YS: Before dropping the subject, I must tell you that you specifically *agreed* with the extremist position of "no abortions ever, under any circumstances" - a ridiculous position, but one you held forth on with enough vehemence to cause me to receive alarmed private messages from several nice people I know - nice people who have been the victim of sexual assault, nice people who have had to make the terrible kinds of choices that the Republican platform would deny them. You upset them, and made them wonder who on earth you were, and why you were allowed on my wall. You were incredibly rude.


ME: Your friends must have mis-understood me, because I don't believe in abortion myself, except for the life of the mother, (and I don't count gee, a baby would crimp my lifestyle as meeting the "life or mental health" criteria). If I were pregnant, unless it were ectopic, i.e. the baby would die no matter what, I'd have a hard time having an abortion myself, even if I knew there was a chance it would kill me. If someone else wants an abortion, I'm not fine with it, but I'm not going to stop them. But..unless it is to truly save their life I don't want my tax dollars used to pay for them. Nor do I think that a religious organization should be forced to pay for something it finds morally unacceptable. I paid for my own pills for years after coming back to the states, and they are really extremely cheap. You could have contacted me and let me know what was going on, instead of just blocking me, making Eilis wonder what she had done to offend me in that particular thread. I didn't unfriend you for nearly a week.